Sh*t that Twelve-Year-Olds Say January 30, 2012

Filed under: Humor — aniederkorn @ 9:25 pm
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My sister-in-law (a middle school teacher) once told me that middle school is such a “totally fun” age to teach.  Ha, ha, I snorted… surely you can’t be serious.  Yet she insisted.  Not only are they funny, she told me, but they still think that you are funny.  They haven’t yet graduated into thinking that all adults are lame and therefore not possibly funny.

Now to be honest, “funny” was not the first adjective that came to mind when I thought of middle schoolers.  Annoying, obnoxious, smelly and disrespectful would probably come way ahead of funny, along with about fifty other adjectives.  Most of the time, a middle schooler’s idea of funny involves bodily functions and Adam Sandler movies.  Yes, I was a skeptic.  That is, until my husband spent a little time with one twelve-year-old girl in particular.

Here’s a sample.

First, she hit him with a random comment:

“Mr. Niederkorn, did you know that if you’re a midget you can get a disability check from the state?”

Next, a rational yet hilarious statement:

“Yeah, at the dance I wanted them to play ‘Satisfaction’ by The Rolling Stones, but they said it wasn’t appropriate.  But they played ‘I’m Sexy and I Know It’ like five times.  What’s up with that?”

And lastly, the comment-you-shouldn’t-laugh-at-but-can’t-help-it:

My husband:  Now you can’t be talking like that, that’s not appropriate.

Twelve-year-old:  What do you mean?

My husband:  You just used two derogatory words.  You can’t be talking like that, using the words ‘lesbos’ and ‘gay’ like that.

Twelve-year-old:  No!  ‘Gay’ is the name of the lady my uncle is marrying!  All the kids in her family have three letter names!  Her name is ‘Gay’!

Apparently I stand corrected.


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