Annapalooza

Anne Hathaway Saved Me from a Painful Decision November 1, 2012

I almost choked on my Halloween candy when I heard the news.

Anne Hathaway is scheduled to make an appearance in my own little town of Ripon, Wisconsin, on Thursday! I was stoked! Normally I have to buy a ticket to L.A. or New York in order to stalk celebrities, but here is one that will literally be a mere few blocks from my house! Would it be too much to put “Welcome, Anne” signs in my front yard, much like Linus did for The Great Pumpkin?

But wait. Before I could even plan my outfit and prepare my strategy on how to meet her, I saw that she was coming to town to campaign for Obama.

Cue the universal noise for buzzkill.

Now if you know me, you know that the chances of my attending an Obama rally are about as likely as Leonardo DiCaprio dating anyone who’s not a model. As much as I love my celebrities, it just won’t happen.

The thing is I really like Anne Hathaway. She seems like a nice person, after all. Plus, we both spell our names with an ‘e’ at the end, so we have that bond. (On a side note: If you ever encounter someone named Anne, please ask how she spells it. Most of my life people have omitted the ‘e’.)  And I do understand how she wants to use her celebrity to endorse things she believes in. However, I also think it would be foolish for anyone to base their political opinions on celebrity endorsements.

I realize that there are a kajillion more entertainers that share Ms. Hathaway’s opinions, and therefore this sometimes makes it hard for a pop culture-obsessed person like me not to get a little frustrated. Back in 2008 I attended a Stevie Wonder concert at Summerfest in Milwaukee, where I was treated to Stevie’s gushing support for Obama which even included a musical chant. To say I wanted to stick a fork in my eye was an understatement.

Now I am afraid that I am going to run into the same thing this weekend in St. Paul. I am going to see Madonna in concert, which has basically been on my bucket list since junior high school. I respect Madonna for her work ethic and amazing entertainment abilities; that woman can put on a show. However I also know that she has been very political on her latest tour; and this is something I am dreading. The people of New Orleans recently booed her after she told them they better vote for Obama. I can only hope she learned her lesson and will tone it down a bit, although we’re talking Madonna here. Subtlety is not in her repertoire. However, I paid good money for those tickets and I don’t want the night to be overshadowed by politics.

And so I’ve had to train my brain to separate the performers from their beliefs. Entertainment is such a huge part of my life, that if I didn’t separate them I’d miss out on so many enjoyable, incredible things. My radio would be silent except for Ted Nugent.  It would be 24/7 Clint Eastwood movies. (Hmmm that may not be such a bad thing, but still.) Don’t even get me started on all the musical theater I would miss.

I would need to get a bigger yard sign for Anne Hathaway. I was thinking something along the lines of this:

Welcome, Anne! You are a talented actress and I thought you did a great job hosting the Oscars even though some people thought you were way too hyper. But honestly who wouldn’t look hyper next to a stoned, self-absorbed James Franco? And I totally stuck up for you when people said they hated your short hair. You cut it for your amazing upcoming role in Les Miserables! That is artistic integrity! In any case I think it’s lovely and gamine and you have the bone structure to pull it off. Plus I also liked your wedding headpiece by Mr. Valentino, even though most people hated that as well. I will continue to support your amazing career, but I’m afraid I can’t support your presidential candidate.

Fondly,

Your Fellow Anne

Update on late Wednesday night via Twitter: Apparently Anne Hathaway has cancelled her appearance in Ripon (and in all of Wisconsin, for that matter.) I guess Anne Hathaway saved me from a painful decision…along with a lot of poster board and paint.

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